One of the most difficult things a person is ever called upon to do is to write a eulogy. Though it is an honor and shows how much respect the family has for you, it comes at a very hectic time when you are dealing with grief and loss. With time constraints and other issues, how does one get the inspiration for writing what is needed at this time?
There are several ideas that can help if called upon to write a eulogy. Find a place of peace and quiet – even if you have to go to the library. You are writing a remembrance and commemoration of a friend or family member’s life so it will be important to focus.
When you have settled in, write down a few thoughts that jump out at you regarding the deceased. If you know the deceased’s family and friends you can get a point or two from them if you feel it is appropriate and you have time. In addition, think about your feelings for this person. That will usually give you at least some inspiration to write about them.
Here is a sample eulogy. It is written as an informal outline basically giving the reader points to talk about rather than a stuffy speech to read. A sample eulogy would possibly be:
My brother Jeff was my best friend. It seemed like he would be here forever. Though he was a year older than I am – he was born in 1956 – we were like twins. THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO GIVE OTHER VITAL INFORMATION – COLLEGE, PROFESSION, MARRIED? WIFE/HUSBAND NAME, KIDS, ETC.
There are a few things I would like to say about my brother.
- Family man, hardworking, loyal
- My best friend, mentor and person I hung out with
- Made a mess of our room as kids and I had to clean so we didn’t get grounded, but I would get him back in my own way!
- Tell a couple of stories (can be humorous) – Jeff knocked over punchbowl at his prom by accident and since then his nickname is “Hi C”…He also ran into the garage door when practicing for his driving test and we tried to fix the hole in it but dad had to rebuild it…He was a great chef & I’ll miss his BBQ’s every Saturday night
You could then end with something heartfelt such as:
On a more serious note, I loved my brother more than words can say. We have a great family and there will be a giant empty place where Jeff always was. He took care of his wife and kids, helped mom & dad and took pride in everything he did. He gave back to the community and he was loved by so many people. We are tied together with a very close and loving bond that will last forever. From all of us that are here today, we love you Jeff.
These ideas and the eulogy above are simply an example of what can be said. Each eulogy is different because each person is different, but making a simple outline or list and delivering it from the heart in a gracious way will help you. This is only a template. The ideas and inspiration will come from the love that you had for the person who has passed away. That is what will help you write and deliver an excellent eulogy with dignity, respect and love.